Choosing a Guardian for Your Minor Children

I imagine that thinking about not being there to raise your children is unthinkable and not something people like thinking about but the alternative is worse. The court chooses for you!!
No one would like a court choosing a guardian to raise their children with no input from them. Yet that is what happens when you have not created a plan where you selected trusted guardians for your minor children.
Planning now enables you to choose the right guardian for your minor children without leaving it up to a court. Here are some tips to help you make great choices:

1. Expand the pool of preferred people and focus on less obvious choices. Create a list of all the people you know who you could trust to care for your children. Do not limit your list to close family members. Although parents and siblings can be excellent choices, think about including extended family members who are old enough to raise your children e.g. cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, even second cousins once removed.
2. Think about trusted friends who can be great guardians. Apart from family, think about trusted close friends who will be happy to do the job. Consider families with whom your family is close, families of your children’s close friends, friends you know from your place of worship, even teachers or child care providers with whom you and your children have a special relationship.
3. Don’t worry about finances or the size of someone’s house. Don’t remove anyone from consideration just because you don’t think they have the financial means to take care of your children. With proper planning, you can take care of the finances with what you leave to your children (having a good chunk of life insurance is a good idea). You can even instruct your trustee to provide funds for your chosen guardian to build an addition to their home or move to a larger home to accommodate your children.
4. Think about and focus on love. Will each couple or person on your list truly love your children if appointed their guardian? Will they treat your children like second fiddles if they have children of their own? Do they truly love your children and will make them feel loved no matter what?
5. What about their values and philosophies? Ask yourself which people on your list most closely share your values and philosophies with respect to your religious beliefs, moral values, child-rearing philosophy, educational values, and social values. Are you all on the same page regarding this?
6. Once you make your selection(s), think about your reasons and write them down. Did you choose friends over relatives or a more distant relative over a closer one? Make sure you explain your decision in writing so there is no doubt that you carefully and deliberately made your choice(s). If you do this, a court can uphold your decision in the unlikely event your decision is challenged by people who feel they should have been chosen.
7. Select both temporary and permanent guardians. The temporary guardians you select may be appointed if both parents become temporarily unable to care for their children, for example, as the result of a car accident. You may want to choose different people to act as temporary and permanent guardians. It may be wise to select someone who lives close to you as a temporary guardian. This is important because if both parents are temporarily disabled, they’ll want the children close by and may not want their lives unnecessarily disrupted by moving them far away and/or moving them into a new city and school. If you have no relatives or close friends nearby, consider families of your children’s friends.
8. Talk with everyone involved. Discuss your potential choices with your children if they are old enough. Get their input before making your decision. Discuss with the people you’d like to choose and ensure you are all “on the same page”. This will also help you determine if they are willing to be chosen and would feel comfortable acting as guardians for your children. Choosing a guardian for your children requires planning ahead so the courts will not pick someone you dislike or a stranger for your children.

Imagine your relatives arguing in court over who gets your children – or having them agree but not on the people you would have chosen. That’s why it’s important to choose a guardian while it’s still up to you.
Remember, if you do not choose a guardian for your children, the courts will step in and appoint someone on your behalf.
Contact us today for more information on creating estate plans that incorporate guardians for your minor children.